My Take: Brokenness & Strength

 You hear it all the time; "I will not be broken," or some variation thereof. Someone claiming a strength that will not fail, whether on their own, or by some higher power.

 I don't have that breed of faith. I am broken. But I can be fixed.


 This is not the machismo or self-sufficiency that I feel is implicit in saying "I won't be broken." Instead, this is admitting, both to myself and others, that I am not strong enough to go through life without being damaged. It's knowing that times will be tough, that I will be pushed beyond my limits. It's knowing that, even when that happens, I will survive. Getting broken is not a sign of weakness. It's just what this life does to you. Real strength shows, not in being able to say "I can take anything," but rather "I can come back from anything."


 On the other hand, it's also not "Woe is me! I am so pathetic! I don't know how I can go on!" or anything that dramatic. This is not feeling sorry for myself, or thinking that I have it any worse than anyone else. With the fact of brokenness comes a sense of sadness, edging towards depression, but that cannot be what defines us. The only way the realization of brokenness can help us is if it's paired with the understanding that what's broken can be fixed.

 The greatest things in life can come from the worst ones. You lose your job, only to be able to follow your dreams. You meet your future spouse on the heels of a bad break-up.

 Let me say it one more time: I am broken. I will be repaired.


 In the garden at Gethsemane, Jesus despaired, knowing all that would follow, up to and including his death. He begged God to not let this happen, but accepted that it was God's will. 

 Even Jesus knew that even the son of God must die.

 That even the strong must be made weak.

 That the Phoenix must burn before it can rise.



 As you can probably tell, it was a rough week. Nothing blew up, but I can't seem to get anything right either. Every time my life seems to be moving forward, another road block comes up. I don't know God's will for me, but nothing I've tried seems to work. So for now, I'm going to back off a little bit. I'm going to focus on trying to get into a better place spiritually and mentally. And of course, I'll keep writing my thoughts in these blog posts. I'm a little broken right now, but I will recover.

 God bless.