Off Topic: What I'm Up To

 It's been a little while since I sat down and wrote out everything I'm thinking and feeling.


 It's been a busy month for me. I haven't had much time or "want to" to sit down and write. Sure there have been some days where I was inspired, but for the most part I've just wanted to relax and play video games.


 Some current events:

 With all of the stories on police misconduct that have been going around recently, perhaps it's not surprising that stories of attacks on officers fade into the background. Sure the attacker has been arrested, but that doesn't change the fact that, officer or not, a man is dead. Now, I'm not excusing the aforementioned police misconduct; quite the opposite. Police officers are, ultimately, people. They make the same mistakes as the rest of us, and they need to be treated the same as everyone else. When they break the law, they need to be tried. When they get attacked, we need to not say "They deserved it" or "I'd have done the same thing." Would you say the same things about firefighters, or soldiers?

 What I'd like to know is this: with all of the other violent events that have been going on, why are police being treated as if they were some separate species?


 Sorry. Like I said, it's been a long month with a lot of stress.



 My Dad's birthday was on Saturday. We got him cookbooks, a nice bottle-opener, and some candies. He also got to see an old friend who moved back into the area, so he was happy. I just feel like I could have done something more.


 I've been playing through the first Borderlands with my younger brother. He's not the best at it yet, but he's getting better. After we're done, we'll probably jump right into Borderlands 2 (I got the Game of the Year Edition so we would have extra stuff to do.)

 Aside from that, I played and beat Tomb Raider 2013 in three days. I just could not stop coming back to it. I'd have to say it's one of my favorite games in a while, and probably the perfect game for me. A week ago, I would have been neutral on female video game protagonists, but now I am strongly in their favor. No particular reason, beside that Lara was awesome, and I wouldn't mind seeing more characters like her.

 I picked up the Bioshock Infinite: Complete Edition last night. Infinite is one of my favorite games of the last few years, and I've heard a lot of good things about Burial at Sea. So far, it has not disappointed, though it is more difficult than the main game. Surprisingly though, I am also quite enjoying Clash in the Clouds.

 As always, I'm still playing Clicker Heroes and Swarm Simulator. I don't know what it is about idle game that I like, since I hate games with any kind of timer, or gameplay limiter (looking at you free-to-play). My clan on Clicker Heroes is called The Lighthouse, if anyone plays.

 Equestria Daily just announce a new project/spin-off/partner called Friendship is Gaming. If any of you are bronies and gamers, you might want to check it out. I'll probably be on there sometime in the next few months.

 I'm still thinking I'll get an Xbox One and a laptop, but they're on the back-burner for now, at least until I get a job/car.



 I'm still looking for a job, but that problem may solve itself. My parents are seriously looking at moving to Reno, and I think I'll go with them. Over the last few years, I've noticed that everything tying me down in California has been going away. I can't find a job, I haven't managed to keep in touch with my friends, I stopped doing martial arts classes for reasons I won't get into here, and my attempts to connect with Nor-Cal's bronies have been . . . disappointing. Maybe Reno can be a fresh start.


 I'm having some issues with feeling useless.

 I've been more-or-less out of work for 8 months (two weeks in June/July notwithstanding), and I can't continue my current spending habits unless I can find some means of income, but no job I've applied to has even given me a call-back. I've gotten a couple of form letters, but that's about the extent of my luck. 

  Every time I think, "Ok, here's a way to make some friends" another door slams in my face. I'm not a hard person to get along with. I'm quiet, and everyone seems to like me, so why is it that nobody is willing to put even a little effort into including me? Admittedly, I'm not good at staying in touch with people long-term, but I've made every effort to be available, and to give avenues on communication.

 My extended family is bunch of dead-beats, more concerned with mooching off of a few good people than in making anything for themselves. And of course it's my immediate family and I who have to pick up the slack. I really, really want to go into more detail, but I'd rather not say anything I'll regret.

 I'm just questioning what I'm supposed to be doing. I know God has a plan for me, and I really do think that Reno is where I'll end up, but I don't know how to get to where I'm supposed to be, or what I should be doing in the meantime.

 That's my biggest struggle right now; finding ways to fill my time that are beneficial, low-stress, and that won't set me up for more disappointment. I'm doing everything I can to try and find God's will for me, but just letting go and trusting him is just so hard. I know I'll end up where I need to be; it's the getting there I'm having trouble with.

 Maybe I just need to be patient.



 God bless you all. I'll be here.