Response: Emerging into Adulthood

 A response to Iona's post on babushkasoul.



 The things you're feeling are exactly what I went through over the past few years, and you are describing them much more eloquently than I could have at the time. But with time and thought, I've come to some level of clarity, and I think that I can offer you some advice.


 Yes.

 Yes, it's normal.

 Literally everyone I've talked to has said that they felt the same things at one time or another. Some of them went through it as early as fifteen or sixteen, others as late as twenty-five, but eighteen to twenty-two seems to be the median age.


 And we all imagine that "better" version of ourselves; the one who knows exactly what to say, who can handle anything that life throws at them. We all wish that we were that person, instead of the insecure, incapable person we believe ourselves to be.


 Solomon said, "The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun."

 Take heart that this is not some twenty-first century problem. God's seen it countless times before.


 This is a necessary part of growing up. I've been told more times than I can count that if you're comfortable, then you're not growing. If you're a little uncomfortable, a little afraid, that means that God is, slowly but surely, making you stronger.


 I said at the top that I now have some clarity about this. It's not something I can share, because it's different for every person. Even with all the advice and help from others, you are the only one who can figure things out for yourself. It just takes some time, a little bit of thought, and a whole lot of prayer.


 Oh, and when you said, "There have been moments of pure joy, sheer terror and monumental pain," that doesn't go away. That's life. Live for the joy, embrace the terror, and don't let the pain destroy you. It's not perfect, but it's what we've got for now.
 You also said, "We aren’t promised tomorrow," and I hear Paul in those words.

 "Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that."


 But you do end on a note that tells me you are close to the answer.

 You said, "If turning twenty has taught me anything, it’s that I must live life to the fullest. I must 'live deep and suck out all the marrow of life' as Thoreau once wrote."

 You are so very close to answering your own questions. A little more time, and I think you'll find what you're looking for.




 All my best, and God bless.


Edit: Oh, and happy birthday.