It's been a little while since I sat down and wrote out everything I'm thinking and feeling.
It's been a busy month for me. I haven't had much time or "want to" to sit down and write. Sure there have been some days where I was inspired, but for the most part I've just wanted to relax and play video games.
Monday, August 31, 2015
Friday, August 28, 2015
Off Topic: Phobias
Let's talk about fears and phobias.
I know that having one phobia or another is not unusual, but what about multiple irrational fears?
I have a big problem with being in the water. Wading is fine, but once the water gets to my chest, I start to get uncomfortable. It's not so bad in hot tubs and the like, where I know I can just stand up with no problem, but swimming pools are usually a no-go.
I'm pretty sure I could swim if I had to, but just the idea of being in water where I can't touch bottom gives me butterflies.
My other thing is heights. This one's not so bad; I don't even notice most of the time, but on occasion I'll be near a ledge (railing or not) and get the sudden urge to step away from the edge. It also comes up when I'm crossing bridges and the like (especially if I can see below me [don't look down]). The biggest part of this one is elevators. Unless I brace myself on the wall or railing, I start to freak out. In my head, I know that the odds of something happening are next to nothing, but I guess that's the idea of a phobia, right?
I think that both of these fears can be explained by saying that I like to have sure footing. Near a ledge, in an elevator, or in the water, I can't rely on the ground for stability. Could that be it?
What about selective phobias?
What I mean is, can a phobia have a set of circumstances to trigger it, instead of just one thing? When I was younger (not much younger, it stuck around almost until I had turned 18), I had a fear of the dark that would only trigger if I was alone. It didn't seem to matter who was with me, as long as there was someone. It also came and went; sometimes I could barely walk down a dark hallway to the bathroom, and sometimes I could be walking down a dark road at night and not have a problem.
This is one I've grown out of, which is what happens, I guess. We leave our childhood fears behind, and replace them with newer, "better" adult fears. Fear of losing our jobs, fear of getting audited, fear of being rear-ended, or whatever else.
One more thing: Have you ever had a fear mutate into something else? A fascination, an obsession, or a hatred?
My younger brother got bitten by spiders a few times when he was young, so naturally he was afraid of them. But since then, it's turned into a pathological hatred for all things arachnid. This fits with the idea that we leave our childhood fears (fear of spiders), and replace them with more socially acceptable versions (dislike of spiders).
I've also heard of many icons of the horror genre who were inspired by nightmares, or by childhood fears or trauma. As a child, Stephen King saw a friend get hit by a train. James Cameron dreamed of a metal skull before he made Terminator.
What about you? Do you have any phobias? Have you ever grown out of one? Has being afraid of something ever inspired your art or writing?
I know that having one phobia or another is not unusual, but what about multiple irrational fears?
I have a big problem with being in the water. Wading is fine, but once the water gets to my chest, I start to get uncomfortable. It's not so bad in hot tubs and the like, where I know I can just stand up with no problem, but swimming pools are usually a no-go.
I'm pretty sure I could swim if I had to, but just the idea of being in water where I can't touch bottom gives me butterflies.
My other thing is heights. This one's not so bad; I don't even notice most of the time, but on occasion I'll be near a ledge (railing or not) and get the sudden urge to step away from the edge. It also comes up when I'm crossing bridges and the like (especially if I can see below me [don't look down]). The biggest part of this one is elevators. Unless I brace myself on the wall or railing, I start to freak out. In my head, I know that the odds of something happening are next to nothing, but I guess that's the idea of a phobia, right?
I think that both of these fears can be explained by saying that I like to have sure footing. Near a ledge, in an elevator, or in the water, I can't rely on the ground for stability. Could that be it?
What about selective phobias?
What I mean is, can a phobia have a set of circumstances to trigger it, instead of just one thing? When I was younger (not much younger, it stuck around almost until I had turned 18), I had a fear of the dark that would only trigger if I was alone. It didn't seem to matter who was with me, as long as there was someone. It also came and went; sometimes I could barely walk down a dark hallway to the bathroom, and sometimes I could be walking down a dark road at night and not have a problem.
This is one I've grown out of, which is what happens, I guess. We leave our childhood fears behind, and replace them with newer, "better" adult fears. Fear of losing our jobs, fear of getting audited, fear of being rear-ended, or whatever else.
One more thing: Have you ever had a fear mutate into something else? A fascination, an obsession, or a hatred?
My younger brother got bitten by spiders a few times when he was young, so naturally he was afraid of them. But since then, it's turned into a pathological hatred for all things arachnid. This fits with the idea that we leave our childhood fears (fear of spiders), and replace them with more socially acceptable versions (dislike of spiders).
I've also heard of many icons of the horror genre who were inspired by nightmares, or by childhood fears or trauma. As a child, Stephen King saw a friend get hit by a train. James Cameron dreamed of a metal skull before he made Terminator.
What about you? Do you have any phobias? Have you ever grown out of one? Has being afraid of something ever inspired your art or writing?
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Fanfic: File Appears Corrupted
Login
\Delta
Enter password.
\**************
Login accepted.
Enter a command.
\open file 235tshxw--a
This file appears corrupted, and cannot be opened.
Enter a command.
\decrypt file 235tsxw--a
Error. Automatic decryption unavailable.
Would you like to try manual decryption? (y/n)
\y
Enter decryption key.
\*******************************************************************************************************************************
!WARNING!
You are attempting a manual decryption of an unauthorized file.
Accessing this file may cause unexpected system behaviors.
Re-enter password to continue.
\**************
Password confirmed. Attempting decryption.
Please wait...Decryption successful.
Loading...Complete.
\Delta
Enter password.
\**************
Login accepted.
Enter a command.
\open file 235tshxw--a
This file appears corrupted, and cannot be opened.
Enter a command.
\decrypt file 235tsxw--a
Error. Automatic decryption unavailable.
Would you like to try manual decryption? (y/n)
\y
Enter decryption key.
\*******************************************************************************************************************************
!WARNING!
You are attempting a manual decryption of an unauthorized file.
Accessing this file may cause unexpected system behaviors.
Re-enter password to continue.
\**************
Password confirmed. Attempting decryption.
Please wait...Decryption successful.
Loading...Complete.
Milestone: 1000 Pageviews
Just hit 1000 pageviews on this blog. Woo! I'm pretty wiped out right now, so celebrations will have to wait.
Thanks, everyone.
God bless.
Thanks, everyone.
God bless.
Monday, August 24, 2015
Impressions: Futurama Season 2
I finished Futurama's second season during my week off, so I figure I should post my thoughts.
Spoilers ahoy! Beware ye also of harsh language. Censored it may be, but foals beware.
Spoilers ahoy! Beware ye also of harsh language. Censored it may be, but foals beware.
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Response: Emerging into Adulthood
A response to Iona's post on babushkasoul.
The things you're feeling are exactly what I went through over the past few years, and you are describing them much more eloquently than I could have at the time. But with time and thought, I've come to some level of clarity, and I think that I can offer you some advice.
The things you're feeling are exactly what I went through over the past few years, and you are describing them much more eloquently than I could have at the time. But with time and thought, I've come to some level of clarity, and I think that I can offer you some advice.
Friday, August 21, 2015
I'm Back (again)
I guess a week off was enough. Even with everything else going on, I had started to miss blogging. I think I'm hooked.
I tend to put too much pressure on myself, so going forward I'm going to try to be more relaxed. I'll still try to post Monday/Wednesday/Friday, but I may miss a day here or there if I'm not inspired.
You've probably noticed a few changes across all my profiles, specifically the change of my profile picture, and removal of the idea that I'm strictly a brony blogger. I had some time to think this week, and I realized I'd been suppressing most of my nerd tendencies for no reason. So, going forward, I'll be making more posts about stuff I like besides MLP.
Don't get me wrong, I still love the show and the fandom, but it's not the only thing I love. I've always been a nerd, but have never really had a good outlet. I feel that by making this change, I will be able to express myself better, which I think will make me happier.
With that said, I'm finally starting to make moves to get to know some other fans of MLP, so the number of posts about it might actually increase, depending on how things go.
On that subject, is anyone in the California central valley or bay area free on the 30th of this month? I'm having a low-key meetup at a Starbucks near my house. Details can be found here or here. TL;DR version: August 30th. Starbucks in Manteca, near the Costco. 2168 Daniels St, just off of highway 120. 10:00 am to 11:30 am. I'm most likely free for lunch afterward.
If you want, you can email me at stormlanternthefirst@gmail.com, and we can talk details.
If your interested, but can't make it, let me know and I'll set up an additional day/place & time.
Beyond that, I'm still looking for a job, am looking at getting a new computer, need a car but can't afford one, am almost done with my dental work, and am thinking about setting up either a local brony group or an animation fan group. Thoughts?
I think that covers everything I've missed. If you're ever going to be in or around Manteca, let me know and we can figure something out.
God bless.
I tend to put too much pressure on myself, so going forward I'm going to try to be more relaxed. I'll still try to post Monday/Wednesday/Friday, but I may miss a day here or there if I'm not inspired.
You've probably noticed a few changes across all my profiles, specifically the change of my profile picture, and removal of the idea that I'm strictly a brony blogger. I had some time to think this week, and I realized I'd been suppressing most of my nerd tendencies for no reason. So, going forward, I'll be making more posts about stuff I like besides MLP.
Don't get me wrong, I still love the show and the fandom, but it's not the only thing I love. I've always been a nerd, but have never really had a good outlet. I feel that by making this change, I will be able to express myself better, which I think will make me happier.
With that said, I'm finally starting to make moves to get to know some other fans of MLP, so the number of posts about it might actually increase, depending on how things go.
On that subject, is anyone in the California central valley or bay area free on the 30th of this month? I'm having a low-key meetup at a Starbucks near my house. Details can be found here or here. TL;DR version: August 30th. Starbucks in Manteca, near the Costco. 2168 Daniels St, just off of highway 120. 10:00 am to 11:30 am. I'm most likely free for lunch afterward.
If you want, you can email me at stormlanternthefirst@gmail.com, and we can talk details.
If your interested, but can't make it, let me know and I'll set up an additional day/place & time.
Beyond that, I'm still looking for a job, am looking at getting a new computer, need a car but can't afford one, am almost done with my dental work, and am thinking about setting up either a local brony group or an animation fan group. Thoughts?
I think that covers everything I've missed. If you're ever going to be in or around Manteca, let me know and we can figure something out.
God bless.
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